Kingdom of Aeristine

Hookers and Shite Monsters

It's a Dirty Job but Somebody's Gotta Do It

Cleric’s Log, Astrological Date 11-3.13

The next day we rose early to continue our sewer sortie. Upon exiting our house, however, we discovered the ravaged corpse of a woman attracting flies in our alley! Her face had been chewed off and vaguely canine tracks lead away. Such is life in a big city though, so I said a brief blessing for the lass’ soul, and we sent a servant to alert the Watch and went on our merry way.

Passing by the Public Works Union Hall, we noticed a new recruit being oriented by the Vermin Extermination Training Officer. Kalli decided to poach him for our Basilisk company because he seemed a competent sort of sorceror. Adjusting her breastplate and fingering her Ring of Human Influence, she strode up to the Assistant Director with a megalomaniacal gleam in her eye that was becoming disturbingly frequent of late, and began negotiating. When the dust settled, we had a new mage! He goes by the name of Celevorn.

So then we descended back into the sewers. Just past the site of out last run-in with the phase spiders, we started hearing some ominous clacking up ahead. Our tunnel opened out into a sewage basin, and we saw dozens of glinting black eyes staring at us… a swarm of Hook Horrors! Quick-thinking Blake sang out a magical verse and the basin was engulfed in a Wall of Fire. The Horrors shrieked and squealed in pain and fury, and skittered towards us through the fire. As the flames died down, Kalli vaulted over the bridge into the scorched, knee-deep muck to keep them at bay, as Hrolf and I combined our prayers (for added holy efficacy) for all of our safety.

An explosion detonated further down the tunnel, beyond the basin, and more clacking now came from behind us as well, as more Horrors were attracted by the din. Blake played a frenetic tune, and Hrolf and I could feel ourselves moving with preternatural speed! We charged the swarm coming from the rear, slamming into a veritable wall of chitin with a flurry of mace and flail blows, as Raynard and Celevorn rained arrows and magic missiles over our heads. I felled an 8’ tall horror with a mighty blow, glorifying Ronan as the monstrosity’s shell caved in, but another darted in to nip at me with it’s cruel beak. Hrolf was knocked down by a vicious blow, but the warriors at the front had now scattered the bulk of the swarm and returned to relieve us rear-guard. We survived! We pried off some shells to use for armor later on, said a few prayers, and moved on.

We traveled far down the tunnel without further incident. Eventually, we came to a huge, cavernous chamber, dimly lit but seemingly filled with towering piles of refuse, large cess pools, and a long pipe running throughout. We had to descend to the bog-like floor, and I prayed for Ronan, guardian of travelers, to keep our feet from sinking into the filth. Raynard and Celevorn stayed above to watch over us for signs of evil.

Just as we passed the first cesspool, a great unclean abomination lurched forth and snaked vile tentacles around myself and Stefan! We were bodily hoisted into the air as we flailed madly at the nameless thing. It then grabbed at the others, but Hrolf bashed his way over to a rusty crank wheel protruding from the muck and spun it mightily, causing the cesspool to drain down into a basin below. Blake and Celevorn fired magical bolts, but the thing dragged me in and lowered me into its gaping maw! I smacked it soundly in the face but it began gnawing its way through my banded mail armor! Just in time, Celevorn blasted it to death from the ledge above, and I disentangled myself from the sinking corpse and vaulted up out of the basin. Not an experience I’d like to repeat.

We paused to catch our breath, and then moved on to investigate the nearby refuse pile, which seemed to be glinting with possible treasure… indeed, there was a shining suit of armor perched up on top! Kalli and Blake carefully picked their way up the pile, and saw a baleful eye watching them from within the helm… just an eye! The suit shifted, and then the whole pile shifted, and it becomes apparent that a more monstrous version of the thing in the cesspool was lurking under the pile, with an eyestalk protruding up through the suit such that it could peer out from the helm on top! Stefan charged up to join Kalli and Blake, and the three brutally hack the abomination to death. Indeed, we found magical armor, weaponry, and the black rod that was the goal of our quest! Upon grasping it, Kalli again let slip her ambitions to one day become Empress… the rest of us shared an uncomfortable glance, and we trudged back to the surface to claim our pay.

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